Big Faith

The show is called Big Love but polygyny really takes Big Faith

Feminism and Polygyny

Simmons College Feminist Union symbolMany feminists bash polygyny, seeing it is an oppressive institution that devalues women. If you change perspective just a bit, though, it will become apparent that it isactually quite liberating.

Think of a career woman who doesn’t really wish to be a homemaker – forever struggling to balance a home/husband/family that demand her full attention and a job/boss/career that also demand her full attention. Polygyny is the perfect answer in such a situation. Or a woman who doesn’t wish to have children could marry a man who already has children with his first wife and doesn’t want more.

In the Western system of pseudo-monogamy, men often keep a mistress or even a whole slough of illicit partners. These women’s rights are not protected in that their lover does not have to support them in any way, and can dump them whenever the mood strikes him with no legal consequences. On the other end of the spectrum, a man having an affair can leave all his money to his mistress, thus leaving his legal wife with no inheritance. Not to mention that pseudo-monogamy by definition involves lies and betrayal. The chances forinjustice and injury are mammoth in a system where the only rule is monogamy but a large percentage of the population ignores it.

Polygyny offers many liberating benefits that make it an equal choice along with monogamy. All wives must be supported equally, inheritance is specified, and the burden of secrets and betrayal is lifted (some men do marry behind their first wives’ backs, but this is ill-advised and it can be argued that such a secret marriage is not even valid. I’ll write more about that in an upcoming post, insha’Allah). In addition, a woman with a co-wife has a built-in extended family, which is a great blessing in these times where nuclear families are often on their own with the closest relatives living in far-flung places. Child-rearing can be shared which means that a career-minded woman may be better able to work because her co-wife is caring for her kids and if one co-wife wants to be a homemaker there is more of a chance that she’ll be able to realize that goal; indeed she can even contribute to the family financially by caring for her co-wife’s children.

Having a co-wife also allows a woman time to explore talents and interests she might not otherwise have time for. Perhaps she could take an art class or start writing, and there’s nothing better than checking out a good book from the library and thinking, “Oh, it’s not my night tonight! I can read all evening after the kids are in bed!” The bottom line is that polygyny offers women more choices in their lives – and isn’t “more choices” one of the main goals of the third wave of feminism?

Some of the benefits I’ve discussed are built in to polygyny, but others can only be experienced if women stop looking at polygyny as some sort of evil monster that might come get them someday and instead look at it as just another style of marriage that has its own advantages and disadvantages. And women who considerthemselves feminists should really look into the liberating aspects of polygyny.

January 28, 2007 - Posted by | faith, Islam, marriage, Muslim women, polygyny, religion

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